Friday, July 16, 2010

The Stranger gets stranger and stranger still

There has been much discussion on one of the most famous scenes in The Stranger. Yes, the one where Mersault decides that it's a good idea to shoot a guy five times in broad daylight. For reference: 

"Beneath a veil of brine and tears my eyes were blinded; I was conscious only of the cymbals of the sun clashing on my skull . . . The trigger gave, and the smooth underbelly of the butt jogged my palm . . . I fired four shots more into the inert body . . . And each successive shot was another loud, fateful rap on the door of my undoing."

What was Mersault's true motivation? So goes the question. My theory is simple -- bitch be crazy. Here are some of the ways in which his mind might have snapped:

--

CAUSE-EFFECT FAIL

Mersault: Damn, it's hot outside. 
Vendor: Some ice cream, sir? 
Mersault: KILL THE ARAB. 

--

SONG INTERPRETATION FAIL 

Mersault: It's getting hot in here... so I take out my gun... 
The Arab: I -- am -- getting so hot -- he's gonna blow my head ooooff!

--

SYMBOLISM FAIL 

Mersault: Sun! Sun! Whatever could it mean? Hmm. Carefree Happiness or Fateful Rap On The Door Of My Undoing? 
English Student: Well, I think happiness -- 
Mersault: You're right. Too easy. Bam! Bam bam bam bam! Now watch my life go down the toilet.   

--

DICK CHENEY FAIL 

Mersault: The sun. It was bright orange. The color... compelled me... to shoot... 
Judge: This is such a joke. 

--

SHAKESPEARE FAIL 

Mersault: But soft! What light through yonder seaside aches? It is the East, and I have a gun.
The Arab: I really think you're more of a Hamlet.

--

SEX APPEAL FAIL

Mersault: Marie seems to like my peculiarities. If I shoot this guy five times and blame it on the heat --
Marie: OH BABY. 
Mersault: It's sexy time. 

--

PHILOSOPHY FAIL 

Philosophy Student: So you believe in passive indifference to the world around you? 
Mersault: Yes. 
Philosophy Student: HOW IS SHOOTING THAT GUY FIVE TIMES PASSIVE INDIFFERENCE?
Mersault: ... 

--

CULTURE FAIL 

Judge: But why? Why five times? 
Mersault: Monsieur, I am French. Overkeel is our specialty, ees eet not? 
Judge: ...Can't argue with that.

--

Oh, Mersault. Such a charming young man. 

(Small note: The Arab really is referred to as "The Arab." I'd give him a nicer name, but I think it would interfere with Camus' wah-wah-the-universe-sux-and-none-of-us-matter existentialist shtick. And, you know. I'd hate to disrespect literature.)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What do Jay Gatsby and Lil Mama have in common?

So much more than you thought.

Before venturing down to my bastardized lyrics, I suggest you take a look at Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss." 




I love this video more than anyone will ever know. I love it so much that I tried combining it with one of my favorite fucked up protagonists. And you know what? It kind of worked. Give it up for my homegirl, The Great Gatsby.

- -

WOLFSHEIM
Jay, what's wrong?

GATSBY
Wolfsheim, I just want to be a part of the cool crowd... I just feel like I don't have what it takes...

WOLFSHEIM
I have something here for you. Gambling? It worked for me.

GATSBY
The champagne is poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin'
(I gotta bootleg, cuz if I don't
It's over).

Nick, what you know 'bout me?
What you what you know 'bout me?
What you know 'bout me?

NICK
Are we really out to lunch?

GATSBY
They say my parties are cool
My champagne be poppin'
I'm standing at the entrance
And all the guests keep stoppin'

What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know 'bout me?
What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know?!


They say my champagne is poppin'
My champagne is cool
All the guests need proppin'
I dunk them in my pool!

DAISY
Tom, I don't know if we should stay...

GATSBY
Satin shirts and silver, yep, 'cause I'm worth it
Love the way I puts them on so perfect
Deal with these bitches so I can work it
When I walk down the hall, well...

NICK
They think you're a murderer.

GATSBY
Oh, oh, oh, my suits so luscious
Damn it all, nothing rhymes with luscious.

NICK
You're a perfectionist, but Daisy blushes?

GATSBY
That's 'cuz I make all the ladies have crushes!

What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know 'bout me?
What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know?!

They say my parties are cool
My champagne be poppin'
I'm standing at the entrance
And all the guests keep stoppin'

What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know 'bout me?
What you know 'bout me?
What you what you know?!


They say my champagne is poppin'
My champagne is cool
All the guests need proppin'
I dunk them in my pool!

When it's time for lunch
My suits still rock
Lil Great Gatsby with tha hot pink top
Brandy, vodka
Flavors is a virtual -- they,
Lovin', booze is universal!
West Eggers like it, East Eggers hate
Rollin' they eyes at my estate
It ain't my fault but I could upgrade ya
Show you how to be a little bourgeois!

TOM
Uh, no thanks.

GATSBY 
The champagne is poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin'
The champagne is poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin', it's poppin'

Sittin' in my house

Guess Daisy don't love me -- 

DAISY
Nope.

GATSBY
Oh... um. This is awkward. 


DAISY
[Excruciatingly long and aristocratic pause]

GATSBY
Blast these currents. I'm borne back ceaselessly into tacky hip hop.